Jordin Sparks said it better than anyone, love is a battlefield.
Many people say that a relationship should come easy and if it doesn’t then it is sure to fail. This may be true in some ways, but there is always some level of effort that should be put in a successful relationship. But what happens after all the fighting and arguments stops? What happens after one person surrenders and the relationship comes to an end? This is where the war’s aftermath begins.
Just because this person is physically out of your life, does not mean he is gone. In order to move on and conquer the heartbreak there are a few necessary things to do that may seem heart wrenching, but will save you in the future.
Delete Delete Delete!
While you don’t want to completely trash everything that your ex gave you, deleting him from things like Facebook and Twitter is probably one of the first things to do. Who needs to see how many girls their ex becomes friends with and what he is doing at all times? And why does he need to know what you’re doing? Doing things like putting all of his things in a box in the attic until you are ready to see him to give everything back is a great idea. Taking down pictures and storing old letters and cards will also help ease the break-up pain. It is impossible to move toward your future when everything around you is a reminder of your past.
Reflect don’t regret
Many people have a tendency to look back into their relationship and think about all the things that went wrong. Going through and pinpointing certain things is not a bad idea because it could better future relationships. The negative effect is when you constantly think “If I did this differently” or “I should have done this”. Regretting things that did or did not happen is natural, but dwelling on them will only make the aftermath pain even worse. Instead, try reflecting on things that went wrong and find ways to avoid or change them for the future. Also, noting when things started getting shaky can help you recognize warning signs next time.
No Boo, New You!
Okay, that was a little cheesy, but one of the greatest things about a break up is doing all the things you could not do while you were in a relationship. Now that there is no one keeping you in one spot, you can travel wherever you want without having to run it by someone first (well maybe your boss). Post break-up is also a good time for a new look like a new hairstyle or the belly button piercing you always wanted. And to top it off, learn a new hobby to occupy your free time. All of these changes will make you feel like a different person, but in a good way!
Cut the Cord
Deleting from Facebook and Twitter is one thing, but taking him out of your phonebook is another, especially when his phone number is engraved to memory. Whether you delete his number or change his name do “NEVER TEXT!” keep true to your word. It is excruciatingly hard to take someone out of your life who has been there every day, but it is really the only way to win the battle with your heart. At first you’ll whip out your phone to shoot him a text whenever a memory creeps into your mind, but after a while, that urge will fade. Once that fades it means you might even be ready to see him again.
The battle of love is a long, hard fight and sometimes no one comes out on top. The important part is learning how to deal with the war’s aftermath to improve yourself as an individual and as a girlfriend for future relationships.