Brad Kronen’s 2012 Valentine Horoscopes
Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
For those needing to bask in even more love after reading your sign’s Love scope, click on the Slideshow to see Brad’s specially appointed Love image for every sign of the Zodiac!
Hello Love Fools!
On the Battlefield which Love is A, did you know Venus is not the supreme officer d’amour? The planet named after the goddess of Love actually reports to a superior where anything Lovealicious is concerned. In astrology, the Commander and Chief of that powerful force otherwise known as L-O-V-E is a heavenly body which outranks Venus since it is categorized as her “higher octave” –
Allow me to sexily explain……
Venus is the hands-on experience of Love. She is behind whatever skirt or shirt (real time, not blow up kind) you are currently in love/in lust with. Venus deals with any kind of amorous groove that is in the immediate here and now.
Venus’ higher octave, Neptune, takes the “du Jour” out of “L’amour” by power lifting Love wayyyy up on an idealized platform. Romantically, Neptune deals with those beings who are your ultimate fantasy or whom you should ultimately end up with, should your inner you end up being the best it can be. But Romance is merely one aspect to Neptune’s powerful Love pull. The 2nd furthest planet in our Solar System deals with Love in all of its cosmically spiritual glory!
Venus = Love
Neptune = LOVE
2012 is a momentous year since Neptune will be entering the sign that it rules naturally, Pisces, come this February 4th, and will be swimming in the sign that easily gets wet for the next 14 years!
What does that mean for all you love starved animals?
If Venus is being in love, Neptune is BIG LOVE. Beginning February 4th and the 14 years following, with Neptune’s passage through the sign of its rulership, Pisces, a rare window of astrological opportunity shall open, allowing us all a chance to tap directly into that powerful force of Cosmic Big Love which is both Unconditional and Universal. That strongest of all energies which not only binds us to each other as The Brotherhood of Man (and Woman) but also connects we humans to every living being within this galaxy and throughout all the Universe.
Valentine’s Day of 2012, (aka February 14th) is a special date on the cosmic calendar where tradition has it, each of us can affirm the presence of Love in our lives. This upcoming Day D’amour is also a marker for our souls to begin formulating their highest cosmic aspirations and best optimal goals so that over these next 14 years, as the supreme commander of Cosmic Love glides through the waters of its natural rulership, the force of Big Love has the potential to enfold each of us into the ocean of well being and the sea of spiritual connectedness whose waters flow through The Universe at large.
Each sign’s horoscope will map out where Brad thinks you should be looking for “Love” (Venus’ placement in the heavens on February 14th), and as a final glop of icing on your sign’s erotic cake, Brad will also be your Love Traffic Controller by pointing your sign towards its own specialized version of “Big Love” as well (Neptune’s positioning in the Heavens for each sign over the next decade and a half).
All 12 scopes will conclude by addressing each sign when they are “in love” – Venus’ positioning for this upcoming Valentine’s Day, as well as when each sign is in “BIG LOVE” – Neptune’s positioning in Pisces for the next 14 years.
HAPPY VD LOVE FOOLS!
Should any of you need further romantic inspiration, I direct your view to scroll over to the upper left corner of this article, to the lower of the 2 pictures indicating the slideshow accompanyng this written piece of Love. It’s a close up shot of a wall mural inside one of Brad’s favorite buildings, The Secessionist Building in Vienna. The mural is called “The Beethoven Frieze” by the great Secessionist artist, Gustav Klimt. It commemorates the last movement of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony when the chorus sings “Diesen Kuss der Ganzen Welt!” “We give this Kiss to the entire World!”. Klimt captured this idealized kiss which Brad takes a step further, describing the image as “Big Love Sucking Face”.
December 22nd – January 19th
“Bank Teller.” “Librarian”. “Laboratory Technician”.
These are all words used to describe the typical Capricorn’s manner of speech when communicating to others. Despite the Cappie readily using various endangered aspects of societal speech such as manners, handshakes, and stating surnames, their fluency in business formal-ese needs to be completely overhauled both for the approaching Holiday D’Amour and in the overall Big Love picture going forward.
Where is a person’s style of speech their most natural? At home. The spot just mentioned may sound like any other locale to the sign I call “the work horse of the Zodiac”, due to their relentless work ethic defining “Home” as that place to pass out at during those choice, few moments when the Capricorn is not working. But it is precisely here where the planet named after the goddess of Love and Romance will be shining for the last of the Earth signs, since Venus will be positioned in The Capricorn’s House of Home this Valentine’s Day.
Whether the Capricorn is ball and chained or single on Love’s Special Day, show either just yourself or you and your partner some tender loving by making this Valentine’s as romantically special in a homey kind of way this year. If home is already a foreign word in the vocabulary of many a Cappie, then the kitchen must appear even more alien like. Whether the Goat Guy or Girl is a gourmand or not, make your hard working selves feel right at home in your own homesteads by having your menu on Valentine’s Night be the meal you consider closest to Capricorn comfort food either by self preparation or ordering it out.
My Cappies, whenever I encounter a person first dating one of your sign, I always inform them they can’t go wrong buying the Capricorn this particular gift, whether it be for your birthday, Valentine’s Day, Labor Day, the Cappie will ALWAYS love it – SKIN CARE PRODUCTS! With that said, after dinner my Goat Kids, I suggest you partake in a sumptuous bath made for either just yourselves or for 2, and then proceed to apply your most favorite and most frightfully expensive skin care product that you just splurged on your status seeking selves. The key to tapping into any outlet of Big Love is by loving of the self first.
We’ll leave you and your skin care product application be for the moment to get much better acquainted…
Beginning February 4th, Neptune will be entering its home waters in The Capricorn’s House of Communications for the next 14 years. Joined in tandem by the planet of Death and Transformation, Pluto, currently passing through your sign, Neptune will be starting a new age of a Global Economy, beginning with how the Capricorn and those in the business world overall, write and speak.
For starters, what spiritual connectedness or Universal Love do YOU hear in the term “business formal”, my Goat Guys and Gals? No worries, I’ll respond for you:
Less than Zero.
My Goat People, I know that a goodly portion of your heart-detached speech is rooted in a life that is based in challenging obstacles you Cappies all have had to single-hoovedly overcome, but we must toast those snow covered hearts and stomped-on emotions of every child of Saturn over the warming glow of brotherly and sisterly Universal Love (The House of Communications is also the House of Siblings)! Neptune will be monitoring the gab O’ goat from here on in. Capricorn communication will be the particular outlet to the force of Big Love for those born under the last of the Earth signs over the next decade and a half, as well as their Achilles Heel of entrapment, should their style of speech retain its business formal frostiness.
Those Capricorns who refuse to change by staying as conversationally conservative as ever, The Watery Lord will gradually show you Goats your unevolved ways. Over time, the unevolved Cappie shall see their words, emails, and conversations turn against them, resulting in others mis-interpreting, in the most un-realistic of Neptunian ways, any and everything said by the resistant Goat as snobbish and exclusively haughty. So much so, the deluded misrecipients of your correspondences shall feel the need to be as self defensive as can be – and in front of as many people as possible, even if all they received from you was a Return Receipt!
For those Capricorns who bear the spiritualized mantle of communicative responsibility going forward, The Lord of The Watery Depths will gradually begin to show the updated Children of Saturn how their words have taken the winning path of evolutionary change by 2 distinct manners, both of which are non-verbal but say far too much:
Tokens of human affection and prospects of opportunity for globally oriented business.
The warmth of your speaking ways shall elicit truly human responses such as heart-felt handshakes, smiles, and yes, even hugs from those who are on the receiving end of them, as well as the keys of the newly formed and ever expanding, global economic Kingdom shall be placed in your care, my evolved Cappies. Big Love words rooted in kindness and consideration that are of a humanitarian vein will be the necessary passwords needed in order to access the new paradigm of successful business and financial security in the even further chaoticly changing economic times that are to come
The Capricorn in love makes their House a Home. The Capricorn in Big Love makes everyone feel at Home with their warm words.
January 20th – February 18th
Military and College marching bands blare into “Three Cheers For The Red, White & Blue!” as well as simultaneously siren an extremely fast tempo’d and slightly out of pitch “This Is The Dawning Of The Age Of Aquarius” all at the same time. I approach with a beaming grin, look you squarely in the eye while loudly mouthing the words which are audibly drowned amidst the din and fanfare, “Kudos, Water Bearer, You made it!” Simultaneously, I shake your right hand with mine while also grabbing hold of your right elbow with my left hand for extra congratulatory emphasis. After your arm is unfettered by my o so manly grip, luao boys in neon colored (your colors) Hawaiian shirts and surfer shorts pat you on the back, placing a tropical alcoholic beverage in one hand, and a lit Cuban cigar in the other, followed by luao girls approaching you from every angle, gigglingly placing leis made of orchids and golden rain (your flowers) over your extra-large-cranium-fitting-Aquarian heads….
CUT THE NOISE PEOPLE!
I’m sorry, but did I just hear you say “What’s all this for?”??
O my Lord of Rebellion! My bad! You’d think I’d have an ounce of karmic consideration in me! Of course you Aqua Folk have not a clue, even beyond your everyday clueless standard of living! The Global Aquarian Luau with Full Military Honors is for still being alive, you air-signed heads!!! I kid you not! Seriously, I don’t know how all of you managed to do it, with Neptune in your sign since 19FREAKING99 and finally leaving its long held positioning in The Water Bearer once and for all on the 4th of February, 2012!! I probably would have (pantomime pistol shooting myself) well before Windows XP was released, know what I mean?
But actually…your furrowed Aqua-brow reactions of confused, non-comprehension would indicate that now is also a perfect time to discuss which Aquarian area of Life The Lord Of the Watery Death Star will be turbining into now that it has jettisoned out of the last of the air signs, but also where immediate Aquarian Love can be had on this upcoming Valentine’s Day!
Even though yours is the sign of intellectual genius and trail blazing invention, I still find it horribly amusing when the Aquarian comes running into the room asking desperately if I have seen their keys which are clearly positioned in their hand, or their glasses, which are obviously sitting atop their large brain’d heads. The same sentiment applies this Valentine’s Day, my hazed over Water Bearers, since the planet named after the Dominatrix of Love herself, Venus, will be shining in The Aquarian House of One’s Local Neighborhood on Love’s Special Day.
Be honest my Mensas of the Zodiac, do you know the names of the streets which are due north and south of the one on which you currently reside? Also, in the past, if there was construction being done on your usual route going home, did you end up getting lost in your own neighborhood? Being astrologically equipped with a far reaching vision such as yours, the average Aquarian tends to not see what’s closest or in the nearest vicinity around them all too clearly, even more so while Neptune was lurking about in your sign!
Allow Venus to begin wiping the lenses of each of your clouded over futuristic visions by finding some local love come this Valentine’s Day, my cyber signs! We’ll start by going to a place the Aquarian feels most at home:
While in front of your computer, decide upon the most exotic, out there kind of meal you would most enjoy partaking in on Love’s Special Night. From there, go to your favorite search engine and research how many of those kinds of restaurants/enclaves/jooka bars lie within a 15 mile maximum vicinity of your current residence (50 Miles for those Aquarians bucking the system and living in true Anarchy No Man’s Land). Plan on spending Valentine’s Night at the establishment which does not even sound remotely familiar to you and is the closest to your house, Aquarius. I highly recommend even if you’re not hitched, to bring a partner or trusted friend, my Water Bearers, on the off Uranian chance, you should lose your way heading home at the end of the night.
My words of directioned warning aren’t unfounded what with the planet of confusion and un-reality taking a nice, long, cold, confusing bath in the Bidet of the Water Bearer for well over the past decade! The unfortunate result is exactly where we are currently – the last of the air signs getting FAR too used to everything being confusing, deceptive and just plain old WRONG and barely noticing that your favorite astrologer of equally vast intellect has pulled out all the astrological stops, complete with fighter jets flying in synch with “Rock You Like A Hurricane” directly over your big heads, WHICH YOU FORGOT TO LIFT WHILE THEY WERE DOING SO, ALL FOR YOUR UNAPPRECIATIVE BENEFIT!!!
The dualisticly simple yet perceptively complex outlet for each Aquarian to potentially bear The Waters of Big Love over the next decade and a half lies within their House of Money and Material Possessions. The unevolved Aquarian shall continue to expect life to be confusing, hazy and unclear, and over the next 14 years, this will gradually be the reality of things in their ever more delusional fantasy finances and mirage-like material possessions.
The evolved Aquarian who now can decipher the difference between the murky waters of the last decade and the clear mental perception of today and going forward, over the next decade and a half shall see their bank accounts start to snowball, due to a natural Midas Touch of Aquarian futuristicly financed genius mingled with Neptunian intuition, creativity, and most importantly, clarity!
With that said, THOSE OF YOU IN RENTAL UNIFORMS, REMOVE THEM NOW, ALL OF YOU OFF MY PROPERTY AND YOU WILL ONLY BE GETTING PAID FOR 15 MINUTES VERSUS THE FULL HOUR!
Money doesn’t grow on trees, right Aquarius? Actually… you geeks of the Zodiac may be changing even that concept soon enough.
The Aquarian in love views the everyday like a golden discovery. The Aquarian in Big Love becomes richer in every way imaginable.
February 19th – March 19th
Come on, Pisces! Get yourselves dressed and ready to hit the town, you’re the guests of honor at not one but 2 Cosmic cocktail parties! The first is much smaller in scale but directly related to the vastly larger and much more Universal second. Are your sea-foam green frocks, jackets, and ties all in place? Neptune-tacular!
As all of you Fish Kids should well know, your planetary ruler is dropping anchor in its home waters, aka your sign, come this February 4th and shall be holding underwater court in Pisces’ Octopus’ Garden for the next 14 years following. Let’s drop in at the first and more intimate of the gatherings, this one is all about Love’s Special Day and its optimal romantic backdrop for the last of all signs.
Being Neptune’s children, your sign isn’t necessarily known for its pragmatism, especially in the money department, despite it’s green coloring. The Piscean can hold up the “10 items or less line” at the supermarket with their 22 items trying to find that scrunched up expired coupon which could have saved them a whopping 75 cents, and on their way out will drop a homeless person their remaining 5 bucks. No worries, my benefactors of the underdog, this Valentine’s Day, the planet named after the Empress of Love, Venus, will be shining in The Pisces’ House of Money. Whether splurging on just your emotionally sensitive selves, your date, or any/all residents of your local Skid Row this Valentine’s, The Universe should help you wet ones along by providing enough of the green stuff (and I don’t mean sea weed) on Love’s Special Night.
Well, we’ve finally arrived at the Big Love Party! Stand straight and smile, Neptune is throwing quite the fete for his very own!
Opening door. Wafting wave of sound comprised of laughter, light applause, involved conversation, champagne corks being unhinged, subsequently followed by the surprised squeals from the projectile liquid’s newly created stains on cocktail party skirts and suits, with an overriding background shout of, “OK, Who ordered Pizza?”
Come on in, Pisces, Join the party! Grab some beluga caviar and non-dry champagne, my Watery ones, take in this spacious sea scene, glorious no? Close your eyes and try these water cress sandwiches before they’re snatched up and also before….
(I BLARE over all the delicious small talk a HUGE FOG HORN, that is so piercing, the reverberating vibrations alone make champagne glasses shatter, and hor’ deurve trays airborne.)
(I mouth the following words, since no one can hear due to experiencing temporary partial deafness)
– BEFORE NEPTUNE ONCE AGAIN WASHES UPON OUR WORLD’S STAGE!
Were your senses bombarded and shocked all at once? That was my hoped for effect, Fish Kids. Hey, be glad you’re getting a little karmic test run of a fire drill exercise because if you thought that was intrusively overwhelming, consider it a giggly game of Marco Polo with no blindfolds compared to the tsunami that IS Neptune crashing the party to come home to roost in your sign and House of Self!
Since this was your party and Brad will make you cry if he wants to, while we are waiting for the ever approaching power wave that is Neptune, as well as for the shock to fully wear off as the fog horn buzz dissipates, I shall now give each of you a seed. Since we’re already underwater and you’re still in a slackjawed state, all you have to do is guide the tiny thing to the vicinity of your word hole and swallow. Good. I want every Piscean to put within that seed, that which makes you happiest (For you astrology buffs, it’s The Part of Fortune – in seed form!). I don’t care if it’s the cheerleading squad from high school that you loved being a part of (or wished you could mount), I don’t care if it’s the biggest basket in the whole wide world just gosh darn chock full of kitties, puppies, sunshine, and soap operas, since you are the last of the 12 and the most naturally intuitive, whatever you imagine to be housed within the shell of that seed, thus it shall be.
And now that said seed is permanently inside each of your gullets, one or 2 words before I leave you high and dry to face all that wet stuff:
Be content. Be joyful. Be at Peace my Watery Ones!
Every Piscean MUST work at positioning themselves within the positive spectrum of thoughts and feelings from here on in over the next 14 years! I shan’t pull your fins, there will be many, many times during Neptune’s momentous visit where it will simply feel like too much to squeeze out a positive thought or word, all you’ll want to do is escape. But no worries, you’re covered now, my Watery ones, that’s where the seed comes in. When you’re just about to pull the escape hatch, remember you swallowed the seed, and immediately your soul will be soothed with the endorphins of that which makes you Fish Folk happiest.
As this watery influenced decade and a half unfolds, the mantle of karmic responsibility will be quite the heavy load to bear, o last of the 12, especially since the intentions of each Piscean action that is made shall also collectively represent every other evolved inhabitant of the Zodiac as well, BUT if the Universe deems the children of Neptune’s work to be satisfactory, either at the height or end of Neptune’s most highly influential visit to our world, then that heavily karmic yolk shall be lifted, allowing you to glide ahead like Mermaids, to bask and welcome the rest of us to the unchartered waters of Big Love which flow into the Sea of Universal Connectedness to all living Creatures.
The Piscean in love sees the future. The Piscean in Big Love sees themselves as their future.