Jinder gets Mah-auled, R-Truth moonlights as a survey man
Next up is the aforethreatened matchup of Kane vs. Ryder. The big Monster simply savages Zack this match, squashing him all over (and outside of) the ring. It’s a falls count anywhere/anywhere goes sort of a deal too so things get extra ugly. Zack tries to fight back in fits and starts but Kane is just a big, unrelenting, rampaging beast who tromps all over him.
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Soooo, between last week’s dropping of the U.S. title and now this, I guess it looks like Zack is firmly back to being the underdog again. Which means…
… Ahh, there we go. Right on schedule the “Let’s go Ryder! Woo woo woo!” chants fill the arena. Kane brings the match to an end when he chokeslams Zack through the stage at the top of the ramp, leaving paramedics to come pick up the pieces.
Something in me was wary from the start of Zack getting the U.S. title. It was definitely a defining moment for the guy and I look forward to him capturing it in the future but at the end of the day Zack’s gotta be the long shot people cheer for with baited breath and crossed fingers. It’s hard to be that as one of the figurehead title holders of the WWE. This is after all, the guy who was so shut out of the mainstream WWE system that he took to the web and created his own championship belt, one that other disenfranchised fans rallied behind.
I think this scaling back’ll be good for Zack. For a little while at least. He’s a young guy, there’ll be plenty of time in his career for him to pick up plenty of belts. He’s on people’s radars now though, which is the most important part. Now it’s up to him to build a rep and convince people he deserves to stay there.
With Zack completely incapacitated and his lady friend Eve looking on in horror, Kane decides to go after her next. And if you know anything about Kane and his *ahem* history with the ladies, you’ll know he’s not big on taking ‘No’ for an answer, in any capacity.
John Cena comes out to save the day and the Monster escapes through the crowd.
After the match Zack’s being hauled off in a stretcher. Cena steps in to do what he can to help but Eve stops him in his tracks. “This is all your fault.” she says. When Cena appears to want to help further she offers, “You’ve done enough.” then rides off with Ryder.
John then proceeds to look at the camera and give a look that means he’s pissed off more than he’s ever been pissed off before. Either that, or he’s having a medical episode and someone should get him some help, like immediately. Seriously, the look he gives the camera is about as subtle as a baseball bat to the knee cap, a full on eyes squinting, face scrunching like Popeye sorta thing that oversells to the point of being borderline comical.
Looks like we’re at 10 minutes to midnight. Won’t be long now before Cena snaps.
Soon…
Soon…
Next up is Sheamus taking on Jinder Mahal. These two have been pseudo-feuding for a few weeks now. Well, Sheamus has been stomping a mudhole in Mahal for a few weeks now, I guess I should say. Tonight doesn’t look to be any different. Just to spice things up this time Wade Barrett comes out to ringside to do commentary while Mahal loses again. With Orton sidelined for awhile with injuries, I guess Barrett’s shifting his focus on Sheamus now.
Backstage Miz is doing a rundown of those who’ve partnered with him and crossed him over the years. He notes that they all seem to have a pattern of epic career failure after vexing the ‘Awesome One’.
R-Truth walks up…err… make that R-Truth’s new alter ego, Eric Fleischer (sp?) comes out, complete with his own hipster glasses (“I was a Lil Jimmy before it was cool.”) and white lab coat, clipboard in hand. “Good evening, my name is Eric Fleischer, WWE market researcher and according to our data, Mr. Miz, you are number one… number one annoying, number one whining, number one nincompoop, number one WEIO. Oh, you don’t know what that mean. That means everytime you’re on TV, they’re saying WEIO, as in ‘What else is on?’”
Burn.
The two men get into a shouting match until Laurinaitis comes to break the two up. Behind him Otunga passively watches, sipping from that damn coffee cup. “I’ve been in my office, trying to prepare myself for my first WWE match against CM Punk, and I can’t even hear myself think. You know why? I’ll tell you why. Cause all I hear is number one this, number one that, number one that… I got your number one. Whoever loses in their match tonight between you two is the #1 entrant in the Royal Rumble match.”
Continue reading to hear about things getting a whole lot funkier in the WWE.
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