Freeing yourself of the chains of cheating is not always an easy thing to do, but it is something that you will be very thankful for once you have. If you are a cheater, there are reasons for this behavior that you may or may not understand yet and they generally have to do with past events in your life. You don’t have to be a cheater, but if you are going to break this terrible cycle, you are going to have to identify and work through the reasons that you are making the choices that you are currently.
When you are a cheater, you are doing things that are really hurting people that probably care about you, even love you very deeply, and can’t imagine why you have done something so cruel to them. There is no way that they understand that what you are doing rarely has anything to do with them, but is really all about you and how you are feeling about yourself. The hurt that you are causing is one very important reason that you have to free yourself of the chains of cheating. Another reason is that you aren’t increasing your own feelings of self-value and worth by doing these types of things, even if it feels that way for a moment in time.
Having once been a cheater, and being a completely faithful spouse today, I know that the old adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is in no way true. At least, it doesn’t have to be. There are ways that you can break off those chains that are keeping you bound to cheating and hurting people, many of whom you really care about.
First, somewhere along life’s path that you’ve walked, something has occurred that has led you to the place you are standing in today. It could be a number of things. Maybe you were abused and no longer have the proper respect for your own body. Maybe you were taught that women/men really had very little value and were only “objects” to be used to meet your needs. Maybe you are in a marriage that has left you feeling lonely and/or needing someone to tell you all the positive things that your spouse no longer does. These are only a few of the reasons that people can become cheaters. You must figure out what produced this lifestyle for you.
Once you have figured out what or why you have become the cheater that you are today, you are likely going to have to go back in time and resolve the issues that started the problem in the first place. This is quite possibly going to require the assistance of a professional, such as a counselor, therapist, or social worker. There is nothing wrong with this, so don’t feel “strange” or “bad” about what you need and why you need help. You are doing something that is going to make your life better by far, as well as the lives of those that you are in relationships with.