By Rita Watson: In my columns, With Love and Gratitude/Psychology Today, I highlight secrets to strengthen relationships and ward off infidelity and divorce. Gather Celebs tells us today that what ruined the marriage of Heidi Klum and Seal might well be traced to an inability to communicate effectively. Indeed we have learned from Dr. Ned Hallowell, recently on Dr. Oz, and Laurie Puhn, JD, in her book Fight Less, Love More that words can make or break a relationship. And with some gossips telling us that there is hope for a reconciliation, who knows?
Gather Celebs says the National Enquirer “claims that the supermodel turned TV host was so terrified of her husband’s monstrous jealousy that she stopped sleeping with him. And why would she or anyone want to continue sleeping with a belligerent jealous person. No woman or man should have to put up with envy from their own spouse.” Heidi Klum Divorce: Seal’s Jealousy Caused Her to Stop Sleeping
Were words the deal breaker?
The Huffington Post this week pointed to Dr. Bethany Marshall’s book, “Deal Breakers,” noting that “Identifying your deal breaker … holds out the possibility of helping you to understand where the relationship has gone wrong, what needs to be done in order to make it better, and when to walk away because you’re doing more work than him to fix it,” she wrote. Heidi Klum And Seal Divorce Over This ‘Deal Breaker,’ What’s Yours?
In talking with Dr. Hallowell, words that he says are often deal-breakers for families in which one of the partners in a relationship has ADHD, are fighting words that can ruin any relationship.
· When will you ever learn?
· Why don’t you ever listen?
· Why can’t you watch what you are doing?
· How many times do I have to tell you?
Do these sound familiar? ADHD Diagnosis Saves Marriages: Dr. Hallowell Talks to Dr. Oz
In several interviews with Laurie Puhn, JD, she pointed out to me how couples can avoid fight lines and use love lines instead .
“It can be so easy to replace bad verbal habits that destroy love, for good ones that build love. All it takes in a bit of awareness and the confidence to use comments laid out for you in Fight Less, Love More – By Laurie Puhn | Amazon.com .
After using just one 5-minute conversation, you will see the results for yourself and wish you had made these small changes years ago,” she said.Laurie Puhn believes that the vast majority of relationships can last a lifetime and be saved from entering the divorce zone if couples learned the art of communication.
Laurie Puhn (www.lauriepuhn.com) has made numerous appearances on national television including Good Morning America, the Today Show, 20/20, Fox News, CNN, and NPR.
Watch for our new book due out in February!
Copyright 2011 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved (adapted from www.ritawatson.com)