Dear Annie, What is the best online dating site for a fifty-year-old woman? I tried e-Harmony and was spectacularly unsuccessful! Luisa
Luisa, EHarmony and similar sites, such as Chemistry.com, are matchmaking sites. This means that, unlike mainstream or niche dating sites, you can only view men with whom you’re matched—but none of the millions of other users.
On the surface, this sounds wonderful: rather than having to sort through numerous Mr. Wrongs online, the site will do it for you. However, according to recent studies, which were summarized in a recent New York Times article, the matching algorithms used by matchmaking dating sites are unlikely to increase your odds of finding a compatible partner.
Furthermore, the larger difficulty is that users are likely to have heightened expectations of finding love—and a deeper sense of failure if they don’t—when using this type of site.
Mainstream dating sites, such as Match.com, OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish allow you to search for, and try to communicate with, anyone who interests you. While they feature compatibility algorithms, those aren’t the only means of connecting with others. But, keep in mind that the Holy Grail of dating sites—the secret of successfully matching couples—is yet to be discovered.
I suggest that you test-drive the mainstream sites. Create a few custom searches, using different basic criteria: such as age range and distance. Sign up for those with the most men who meet your broad requirements. If you go online every day, you are likely to start meeting men.
Look at an online dating site as a huge meeting venue. If you were to attend a large gathering where you had the opportunity to meet lots of men, you would probably want the chance to chat with anyone who caught your fancy.
While online dating gives you to meet those who you wouldn’t otherwise encounter, don’t forget that San Francisco is a great place to meet men! Just smile, say hello and see what happens.
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