Driving by Bel Air, California, she told him you are not capable to love and maybe you are afraid of marriage. He said may be because she faked it during love that he seems incapable. These types of interactions may make the couple lose faith in their relationship and may even cause disengagement. The words used in association with love may change the feeling about it, inducing emotional behavior that may then change the belief about the relationship and relationship dynamic.
Ability to love
Ability as a noun can mean capability, capacity, skill, aptitude, talent, gift, knack, faculty or power. In effect when she or he says “you don’t know how to love” or “you are not capable of love” may be a direct reference to, or attack on, the person’s sense of adequacy and power. If the receiver attributes the word ability to a lack of talent or skill, the meaning can be different. Generally talents or skills are learned given the right environment associated with the outside of the person. Involuntary, the outside force would be to blame if the person fails on that human responsibility to love. The guilt is projected in this sense. The expectation from the society to teach one how love can be more connected to the belief systems learned from parents, religious or spiritual figures than if ability would be considered as a gift.
Capability, capacity, faculty, power or gift may be attributable to one’s own voluntary will power, innate or internal forces, placing the responsibility to love on the person himself or herself. Here, if there may be guilt, could be an internal attribution not an external attribution or projection of it.
Fear of love
Fear can mean trepidation, apprehension, alarm, horror, terror, dread, dismay, fright, worry or concern. Fear can be complex when combined with love. That may change the belief, impression, or sensitivity, inducing avoidance, escape of and fighting love or approach and increase attraction towards love. Since love is a signal for security and comfort, when combined with fear, that may induce conflict between the emotions. If he or she states “you are afraid of love” or “are you afraid of love”, the recipient may form a different feeling if secure about the love than when insecure about the love.
Feelings can be temporary states and changing. And hasty breaking of love commitments and change of faith are to be reconsidered when based on temporary exchange of words and attributions.