The judges open the episode with a tribute to Prince. The best part is Cee Lo’s red sequined outfit, which recalls one of Blanche Devereaux’s dresses. They’re all talented, but come on. Blind Audition time. Stop feeding your own egos.
So first, we have a duet from awkward little duo, The Line. They sure do spend a lot of time explaining that they’re not a couple. They sing no-lose song “American Girl” and earn turn-arounds from all four judges, who are apparently suckers for singers who break to clap their hands for the crowd.
Who they should pick: Adam. He’ll know how to treat them as a team and encourage them in multiple genres.
Who they do pick: Christina. Come on. Christina is not a group-oriented person. She is a solo star all the way. But hey, it’s your choice.
Jamar Rodgers has an elaborate sad backstory and an eyeball on his hat. He sings “Seven Nation Army” and it is rocking. Cee Lo is the only one to turn around, but that is just fine by Jamar, who is a big Cee Lo fan anyway.
Neal Middleton, rocker dude with a leather top hat almost as cute as his chubby baby, does a rock take on “Heard It Through the Grape Vine.” Though he’s obviously a strong vocalist and performer, he doesn’t pick a song that shows off any range and nobody picks him. Come on, Neal! Don’t get a day job!
Gwen Sebastian looks like a rocker chick, but sings like a country superstar. Though Blake isn’t the best debater, he is great at recognizing talent. He talks about the nuances of tenderness and power in Country as he gushes over Gwen’s talent. “You’re developed. Cee Lo has another meaning of the word developed, when he talks to you,” says Blake. Cee Lo’s grin can be interpreted as: yeahhhhhh.
Who she should pick: Blake. He’s obviously the most passionate about her, and he’ll take her down a long, awesome Country road.
Who she does pick: Blake! Good one.
Pamela Rose is hot. That’s pretty much what the judges say, and they’re right. Her voice pitchy and not super powerful. Master creeper Cee Lo does regret not picking her. And the editors of The Voice are happy that they can edit in the point of the show – hot girl who can’t sing doesn’t get picked, but (spoiler alert for the next paragraph!) older lady who can sure does.
Poor Kim Yarbrough. She doesn’t want to be judged by her age. But the editors keep editing in comments about her age. Oh well. She does a powerhouse performance of “Tell Me Something Good,” and when Adam and Christina turn around, Adam admits: “We’re going to fight over you like children.”
Who she should pick: Christina. Put the divas together!
Who she does pick: Adam. Not a bad choice. He’s a good coach who will give her a lot of love.
Anyway, they’ve brought in soldier Angie Johnson to disprove the sad theory that hot people can’t be talented. She was in a military band and went viral with a video of her singing “Rolling in the Deep.” She’s a “Heartbreaker” who makes Cee Lo turn around. “Are you as beautiful as I think you are? Wait a minute, let me put on my reading glasses,” he says. He is delighted to be the only one who chose her.
Yale Quarterback Dez Duron gets an “A” in song choice (boy band classic “I Want It That Way) and an “A” for having an awesome name. Sadly, he gets a “C” for singing and nobody picks him. “He’s a good-looking guy, too!” yells Blake. Which is sort of the point of the show. But the judges feel bad, so they try to act like it was Adam’s fault for not picking him. And it’s weird.
Lindsey Pavao likes mildly rebellious rock songs and dislikes stage fright. Yay for her, she makes makes three judges turn around and they all want her. Which is not at all related to the fact that she is attractive.
Who she should pick: Cee Lo. He will let her do her own thing and wear whatever she wants.
Who she does pick: Christina. “I don’t want to touch you, I just want to play with you,” says Christina. Maybe that’s why?
Hoja Lopez is an artistic girl who loves singing, but is expresses past insecurities about how she looks. She sings “Teenage Dream” but gets nervous and doesn’t get a spot. Presumably to show that the judges don’t take just anyone.
Alicia Keys back-up singer Jermaine Paul is taking to The Voice to jump-start his solo career at the advice of his daughter. Alicia Keys awkwardly leaves him a video message on a Sprint phone. He inexplicably chooses deeply emotional Avril Lavine song “Complicated,” but a combo of a deep full voice and the judges’ hotness sensors finally working again makes Blake and Cee Lo turn around.
Who he should pick: Cee Lo. Their ranges are so similar.
Who he does pick: Blake. Still cool! Blake has the best taste. And you guys can wear matching vests and scarves and look all chic together.
The last pick of the night, Angel Taylor, sings Adele, so of course she gets all the judges except Christina to turn around. And boy do they fight for her! With both compliments and promises to critique well.
Who she should pick: Adam. He is going to stand behind her and push her to do new things.
Who she does pick: Adam! These two could be the pair to beat. There’s a good aura around this pairing.