Everyone’s favorite reality show, GOP 2012: Primary Season, was back in full swing last night at the University of North Florida in Jacksonville. Each candidate not named Ron Paul came heavily armed with a bag full of crazy, and CNN’s Wolf Blitzer served up plenty of crazy-bait. After all, the bottom line is ratings, right? Oh, wait a minute; the future of the nation might be at stake as well.
Speaking of which, that snooze-fest of a reality show on C-SPAN known as The United States Congress took another turn for the worse yesterday, as the Senate voted to increase the national debt from $15.2 trillion to $16.4 trillion. Apparently, borrowing an additional $1.2 trillion to fund operations of a federal government spending roughly 55% more than it collects is of no real concern.
As deficit spending and the national debt increase, the value of the dollar deteriorates, and Americans’ purchasing power suffers. Republicans on Capitol Hill and the campaign trail find the current deficit spending abhorrent, yet it didn’t seem to bother them when they marched in lock step behind George W. Bush to fund wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Medicare Part D, and TARP. For a party so vehemently opposed to taxation, the GOP seems to love the most detrimental tax of all: Inflation.
Unfortunately, Wolf Blitzer thought it much more pressing to prompt an irrelevant back and forth between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich over who owns which stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. You know, the important stuff. In fact, Rick Santorum took a momentary time-out from his bid to become Holy Roman Emperor, er, President of the United States, to put Blitzer in his place – much to the audience’s delight. When Santorum is the temporary voice of reason, it’s a pretty good indication that you’ve entered the twilight zone.
Unfazed by the candidates’ tepid desire to discuss issues, Wolfy went back to his own bank of irrelevancy to withdraw other vital inquiries such as, “Why would your wife make the best First Lady?” Voters can rest easy now, firm in the knowledge that each GOP candidate supports his own wife. However, Gingrich didn’t indicate support for his ex-wives or potential future wives. Family values are really on the decline.
Eventually, the inevitable “How will your religious beliefs impact your decisions as President” came from an audience member – always an irrational, non-germane topic suitable for any presidential primary debate. Each candidate upped the ante after Ron Paul essentially said his faith wouldn’t impact policy decisions.
Romney kicked it off by saying he will “seek the guide of Providence in making critical decisions.” Gingrich also believes it crucial to ask the big guy in the sky for guidance since the decisions made by presidents are “beyond the ability of mere mortals.” The former House Speaker also asserted one of his main reasons for running is to combat the “increasingly aggressive war against [Christianity]” in the United States. It’s about time someone stood up for that oppressed minority in this country.
Not to be outdone, Santorum delivered the line of the night by proclaiming, “Faith has everything to do with it … I believe in faith and reason.” Even though the President’s oath of office is to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States,” Rick openly admits faith trumps all else. No wonder he’s oblivious to religious faith’s prerequisite suspension of all reason and logic.
Senator, the College of Cardinals and electors will gladly oblige your true ambitions and elect you Holy Roman Emperor. In fact, the Church lacks Imperial Majesty of your ilk since Charles V, the last emperor to receive a papal coronation. It’s been almost 500 years, Rick. Just imagine the possibilities and historical impact.
By the way, that boring topic of unsustainable debt wasn’t debated at all. It’s no wonder Gary Johnson’s issues-first approach found him on the outside looking in while vying for the GOP nomination before going Libertarian. Real issues don’t even seem to come last in the GOP primaries.
Gov. Johnson doesn’t hesitate to slam Republicans for running up record deficits under President Obama’s predecessor. Red meat for the Tea Party, right? Nope. The supposed grass roots, anti-establishment organization chose former Federal Reserve board member, Herman Cain, to deliver their State of the Union rebuttal while largely supporting former Speaker of the House and rampant crony capitalist, Newt Gingrich, in the primaries. It makes perfect sense, so say it loud and proud: GOP 2012?!?
This might be satire.