If you love someone, set them free.
How many times have you heard this in your life? Probably too many to count.
When people decide to part ways, things can get ugly, or actually be reasonable and understood. Some break ups tend to be more sour than understood, unfortunately, but it all depends on how everything is handled between the two parties. Depending on how long you have been together, what has contributed to the breaking up are the two main factors in how it is usually handled.
How grown up are you to look beyond the break up and see the positives over all of the negatives in this situation? Perhaps just some time apart may be needed to see where you two stand as individuals, or maybe it is really over for good. So many people are glued to the present situation vs. looking into the future and what could be. It takes time but normally people find a new outlook after a break up and rediscover what they were missing about not being in a relationship or just changes that needed to happen to make them happy again with themselves overall.
Being in a relationship sometimes blinds you from what you could be avoiding with yourself or with your life in general. Sometimes taking a break from the norm can help you see that more clearly. For example, Mindy and Max had been dating for three years, and things had been rough between them. Fights seemed to go around in circles more consistently, and nothing seemed to be resolving itself. “We decided, after living together for a little while, to live apart, and get more space for ourselves, and take a step back to re-evaluate things with us,” Mindy shares. “After taking some space for ourselves, it made both of us more aware as to how we really felt, rather than being so concerned with all the negatives when we would fight all the time. Taking a little space apart and break from the norm really let us blossom and figure out what we really wanted and what was most important to us.”
Very rarely does it happen, but some couples do end up taking time apart, only to get back together later on. These relationships are not always successful, but they can be, and it does happen. People can change, but sometimes nostalgia can interfere with reality, and that is something everyone should be careful about mistaking it for. When you don’t have someone in your life for a long period of time that used to be there every day, it is always nice to reconnect and catch up with them, but to get back in the same pattern you were once in, only to go through the difficult of heartbreak once more, in the same way it occurred before, knowing you put yourself there again, is hard to deal with. This is why most people do not return to their ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends. There’s a reason many say ‘they are an ex for a reason.’ This is very true, but like said before, there are always those unique situations.
“When my girlfriend and I broke up, we were both devastated since we had only seen marrying each other and nobody else, but we knew it was for the best because we weren’t happy with each other as we used to be,” local college professor Adam, “and yet we still loved each other very much. It ultimately came to us breaking up, and, we didn’t talk for a good two to three years. By chance, we reconnected and made a point to keep our distance and just be friends. One night of catching up, we realized the things that caused issues between us had gone away and/or changed and things were completely different after several years had passed. We decided that we would risk it and give it one last shot, and now she’s been my wife of ten years. We got married after dating again for two years, and, it was the best risk I ever took.”
Sometimes there are love stories with heartbreak that lead to ultimate happy endings involving the same person, but what you can learn is to not settle, and to pay attention to what your heart and head are telling you because those are you feelings, and nobody else’s. You can make things how you want them to be, and you are the only one that should have control over your life. Make yourself happy, and do not waste any time being unhappy or feeling like something is not enough for you. There’s no point in wasting away your life